Yesterday MSNBC had hip-hop sensation Cardi B on air espousing her views on the government shutdown. Cardi shared such insight as, “right now our country is a hell-hole, all for a fucking wall” as well she added “I feel like we need to take some action”. While this revelation may be the exact advice government officials need, the Federal Trade Commission has decided that Cardi’s voice should not be heard.
FTC official Peter Niedermeyer said, “That bitch needs to stick to shaking that ass”, he clarified by saying, “If your work is to twerk you don’t belong on a news channel, MSNBC should have known this.”
Mr. Niedermeyer said they gonna learn today when he presents them with a $5 million dollar fine. He put every news channel on notice, “If I see Jim Carey on a news channel one more fucking time, I will shut that channel down completely.” At an apparent jab at Fox News he also added, “Oh and nobody gives a fuck what James Woods thinks!”
The Grim News Reaper is intended for a mature audience.
- “They gonna learn today”, courtesy of Kevin Hart