Trump Says, He Prefers Sexual Predators Who Have Not Been Captured!

The White House released a statement today in an effort to distance the President from a terrific guy who likes to have a lot of fun while enjoying the company of beautiful women, on the younger side. The question came up shortly after Jeffrey Epstein found himself in handcuffs after someone who was not a morally bankrupt piece of shit prosecutor from Miami decided to seek justice for underage girls in Manhattan.

While the focus should be on former corrupt Miami prosecutors and current douche-bag Labor Secretary Alex Acosta the mainstream media understands the importance of shining the light on the Presidents connection to anything and everything creepy. A CNN spokesperson said that their only regret is that former President Bill Clinton keeps coming up every time they get creepy dirt on anyone. She said, “We finally get evidence directly connecting Trump to abhorrent creepy behavior and we really can’t clobber him with it. I’m sure if we did some digging Bill Clinton would be right there with his dick in his hand. Very frustrating for a professional journalist like myself.”

The White House statement wanted to make it very clear that President Trump prefers sexual predators who have not been captured. A White House spokesperson said that once someone has been accused and arrested of a crime, especially a sex crime, the President no longer considers any past relationships relevant or to have even existed.

The statement which is rumored to have been authored by the President himself, read in part, “Everyone thinking you’re a pervert was/is not necessarily a bad thing, but once there is an actual arrest, the White House is not a fan!” It went on to state, “The President prefers sexual predators who have not been captured!” It abruptly ended there.

Some are calling the President a hypocrite, while others are praising the President for his consistency. A White House spokesperson pointed out that the President is a big fan of war hero’s, well, with the caveat that they have not been captured. The spokesperson went on to say that the President is also a big fan of autocratic dictators, well, one’s that haven’t been bombed into submission, captured from a spider hole and hung by their own people. The point they want to make is clear, the President if nothing else, is consistent.

The Grim News Reaper, unlike a party at Jeffery Epstein’s house, is intended for a mature audience!

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