President Donald Trump met with Nancy Pelosi yesterday for 3 minutes, a similar time frame that he had previously met with Stormy Daniels, yet a very different reaction from each after the fact. While Stormy wanted fame and fortune for her 3 minutes, Nancy came away saying that she, “Prayed for President Trump.” Moments later, Nancy was struck by lightning and dropped dead on the sidewalk just outside the Capital building.
A spokesperson for the Vatican said that God was not fond of people who claimed to pray for someone when they are clearly being sarcastic, thus the probable reason God chose to strike Nancy from the face of the earth. She said, “It is basically akin to using the Lords name in vain when you sarcastically say that you will pray for someone, which pretty much equates to a trip straight to hell!”
It is unknown if Nancy has a parachute for her trip to hell but either way her journey should end with quite the thud, as it is rumored that Satan can last a lot longer than 3 minutes.
Pundits are scratching their heads over Nancy declaring that she would pray for President Trump because even as Democratic strategist Martha Abigail put it, “Nancy doesn’t believe in God, uh I mean Nancy didn’t believe in God, so I have know idea why she would say that she would pray for anyone. But I’m sure the whole lightning thing is just a coincidence.”
Jerry Farwell Jr. chimed in by saying that, “Our Lord God in heaven Almighty has shown Christians around the world that using the Lord for political gain is blasphemy that our God shall not tolerate!” 3 minutes later he was struck by lightning in front of a live TV audience while standing behind the very pulpit where his father once preached. With no Christian doctor available to treat him, he passed away 3 minutes later. It is believed that Jerry will discover that in the afterlife he has a lot more in common with Nancy Pelosi than he could have ever imagined.