To be more transparent with their viewers MSNBC executives have decided to change the name of their once popular morning show Morning Joe to Crying Joe. One executive said she found herself crying every morning while watching the program and her coffee was getting watered down as a result. She said the name Morning Joe did not seem appropriate. Another executive said, “We thought about sending Joe, Mika and the rest of the staff to therapy to treat their severe case of TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome) but ultimately concluded that it would just be easier to change the name of the show.
The head of MSNBC Pundit Programming, Wally Schumacher said, “As a network that fully supports the Democrat party we felt that it was important to continue to give Joe and Mika a platform to prolong their personal vendetta against the President. This name change was necessary once we realized that the appearance of neutrality was gone.”
The all-out vendetta started when the President did in fact say some nasty things about the morning show, specifically Mika Brzezinski, reportedly because he did not like the coverage he was getting from Morning Joe. The President labeled the morning show duo Crazy Mika and Psycho Joe, monikers the two did not embrace. Donald also claimed that the pair had no problem hanging out in his hot tub at Mar-a-Lago but then they “spoke badly of me” according to his tweets in June of 2017.
Wally Schumacher went on to say that the President started this whole thing, he said MSNBC will launch a promotional campaign for the name change soon. He also said, “Everybody needs a good cry. Joe and Mika provide that first thing every morning. Not everyone wants non-biased news reporting, some people want their own personal views regurgitated back to them in the form of two middle aged love-struck butt hurt lovers confirming their own hate for the President and all who support him.”
A friend of a cousin whose sister in law once dated Mika’s ex-husband explained, “Mika can hold a grudge, let me tell you that! When the President said Mika was bleeding from places, oh gosh I knew this was going to get ugly!”
Mika and Joe refusing not to be out done by the President have given up on the idea of journalistic integrity. Joe Scarborough said, “Journalistic integrity? When it comes down to it I’m from Ala-fucking-bama, we can only count to one and that one is Mika. My approval ratings went up when I spoke out in Congress! The fact that Morning Joe’s approval ratings are now in the shitter is yet another example of how Donald Trump is bad for America.”
Bob from Idaho said, “I’d been thinking about voting for a Democrat for some time, but then I watched Morning Joe, so I reckon I’ll just stay home. My mother, father, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins though, I reckon they’ll vote for Trump.”
Mary, the moderate from Missouri was upset that she was forced to turn the channel to CNN. Mary said, “I used to love Morning Joe but I can’t take it anymore, my life sucks enough without watching Joe and Mika crying everyday about the President. I don’t like watching that bitch on CNN either but at least she tries to act like she is impartial.”
When Donald Trump was asked what he thought about the decision by MSNBC to change the name of Morning Joe he said, “MSNBC is a joke, their ratings suck. Joe and Mika are so stupid. I planned this shit all along. I knew if I said something derogatory about Mika, love sick Joe would lose his mind. Psycho Joe or Cryin Joe, either way you go, so WEAK!”
