Have you ever thought about quitting your day job? Would you like to work from home in your pajamas? Now is the time. There are more opportunities to work from home than ever before. Currently there are many articles on how to work from home by starting your own blog, YouTube channel or online store, but few if any touch upon the untapped potential of the Dark Web. Large financial companies like LifeLock and Experian are already monetizing the Dark Web. They charge a fee to see if your information is on the Dark Web. If you follow our advice you won’t have to pay a fee to see if your information is on the Dark Web, we’ll guarantee it.
If LifeLock and Experian can make money from the Dark Web, why can’t you? Listed below are 5 sure-fire ways to make money on the Dark Web. Soon you will be living the life of your dreams.
Sell Drugs – Selling drugs on the Dark Web has never been easier. Drugs are very popular and in high demand. The first thing you need to begin your drug selling enterprise is to establish a connection. This is where you get your drugs. This may require you to fake an injury. You will then need to find a doctor who is willing to prescribe you narcotics to treat your alleged pain. Since pain is subjective, you will need to indicate that you are in a great deal of it. If at any time you are asked to describe your pain on a scale of 1 to 10, you should always answer 10. Multiple doctors should be consulted.
If you have difficulty finding a doctor who is willing to prescribe the drugs you wish to sell, you may have to deal with a street vendor. There are pros and cons when dealing with street vendors. One pro is that you don’t have to give your real name to a street vendor. It is actually recommended that you use a street name. To pick a street name, take one of your initials and put the word Easy, Hard, Bone or Lazy in front of or behind it and you now have a street name. For instance, if your name is Earl, you’d obviously go with Easy E. If your name is Judy, you might go with J Bone. A woman choosing this name would be a reverse double entendre with a flair of sexuality as well as toughness. This will confuse the average street vendor, making it possible for you to work a favorable deal.
If you can’t get the drugs from a doctor or a street vendor this method of making money on the Dark Web may not be for you. Please see below for other sure-fire ways that might suite you better. If you did get the drugs to sell on the Dark Web, all you need now is a website. If you do not know how to build a website don’t worry. There are lots of people willing to help you build a website. However, make sure they understand that your website is for the Dark Web only. Any confusion and your site could end up on just the web and law enforcement would then be able to see your activity. I cannot emphasize this enough.
Some examples of website names for selling drugs on the Dark Web would be MethBook.darkweb, InstaBlow.darkweb or SnapSmack.darkweb.
Now that you have drugs and a website on the Dark Web you need to mark up your drugs and list them for sale. It is highly recommended that you accept credit cards and PayPal. Rookies totally ignore the PayPal market. How much you mark up your drugs is entirely up to you. After all, that’s why you went into business for yourself, you get to be the boss. Once you start moving product you can gauge whether or not you have it priced correctly. One last note on selling drugs on the Dark Web, don’t use the United States Postal Service to ship your drugs. They don’t like that. We currently do not have a shipper willing to work with us on an affiliate basis therefore we can not recommend anyone at this time.
You can clearly see that there are great opportunities selling drugs on the Dark Web but incase that’s not your bag here are some other ways.
Sell your Identity –
If there’s one thing hotter than selling drugs on the Dark Web, it’s selling identities. The good news here is, you’ve got one! If someone else can sell your identity why can’t you? While selling your identity can be profitable, it is a short-term play unless you intend to get into the business of stealing identities. The reason here may not seem obvious, but you only have about sixty days to sell your own identity. After sixty days your identity declines in value as it becomes tainted by the numerous accounts that inevitably go into default once your identity starts being used by your clientele.
So, the key to selling your identity is to sell it as many times as possible within a sixty-day window. If you’re patient, you can do it over again in seven years. Good luck selling your identity.
Steal identities and sell them –
If you have mastered the art of selling your own identity you may want to consider stealing other people’s identities and selling them. At first you can steal the identity of your friends and family. This should be easy. Once you run out of friends and family you will need to find a steady supply of identities to steal. Making friends with someone who works at a large company is a good place to start, preferably a bank. Let your new friend know that you are willing to pay a fair price for stolen identities. Also guarantee your new friend that their identity is safe with you. It is important to establish trust in every business relationship.
Now that you have an endless supply of identities to sell, you will need to troll the Dark Web message boards or build your own website. Some example Website names would be. IdentitySwap.darkweb, NewYou.darkweb, or FreshStart.darkweb.
Sell Nude pictures of yourself –
If you are open to embarrassment selling nude pictures of yourself can be profitable. If you go this route you should start referring to pictures as pics. Pics is internet jargon for pictures, it translates to the Dark Web. The biggest benefit of selling nude pics of yourself is that as long as you have a camera you have an endless supply of product.
If you are going to sell nude pics of yourself it is recommended that you have a niche. This is the area that you specialize in. Perhaps you would take all of your naked pics while holding a banana, umbrella or bowling ball. The possibilities are endless. You don’t necessarily need to be holding something, maybe you could be outside in all of your pics or standing in a line or eating something. Again, endless possibilities.
Once you have taken plenty of naked pics of yourself it’s time to go to market. You can sell your pics directly to the consumer or you can sell your pics to a third-party distributer who will market your pics for you. If you decide to use a third-party distributer you will need to run an ad on craigslist. Your ad on craigslist should state that you have a lot of naked pics of yourself and that you would like to sell them on the Dark Web. Someone will contact you immediately.
With all Dark Web ventures, we recommend accepting as many forms of payment as possible. There is however one exception, never accept roses as a form of payment for your nude pics. What kind of bullshit is that? For those of you who don’t get this joke, perverts on the Dark Web offer roses instead of actually dollars to avoid prosecution for solicitation. The only reason I know this is because as a good journalist, I do my fucking research okay!
Example website names for selling your nude pics on the Dark Web are, ExposedHey.darkweb, SeeMyAss.darkweb or NakedForMoney.darkweb.
Work for Isis –
Some of the best paying jobs on the Dark Web are working for Isis. This somewhat goes against the concept of working from home because your initial interview may require you to travel to the middle east. However, if you play your cards right you can convince Isis that your talents are better suited behind a keyboard and sitting at home in your pajamas. Also, you should make sure that you are not actually an employee of Isis but an independent contractor.
As an independent contractor you can get paid on a per recruit basis for recruiting new members for Isis. This can be as much as $1000.00 per recruit. If you were successful stealing identities, you can then use those same identities to convince Isis that you can recruit an infinite number of followers. This would be very profitable. Some might call this double dipping, since you’ve already sold those identities, but we call it smart business.
Once you’ve gained the trust of Isis by recruiting all those new members it’s time to do what we in the business call, upselling! Isis handles a lot of money, they steal oil, they’re in the arms business, they’re big in extortion and heroin sales, just to name a few. The point is, they need accountants and money launderers. With basic math skills, you can fill one of those roles.
Now that you have laid the ground work for cooking the books for Isis you’ll need the numbers to all of their bank accounts. Once you have this information the duration and manner in which you screw Isis is entirely up to you. Again, that’s why you became an entrepreneur in the first place. It should be noted that you will be labeled an infidel and slated for assassination. Not to worry, they thought you were an infidel all along.
The benefit of working for Isis is that you don’t need to build a website. Go to Isis.darkweb to fill out an application now.
Start a puppy mill –
If so far, all the methods of making money on the Dark Web seem a little risky or embarrassing to you, you should consider starting a puppy mill. Puppy mills have a negative connotation making them a perfect business for the Dark Web. The good news is you don’t actually have to breed puppies because that would be to costly and time consuming. You are trying to make money not spend it. So where do you get your puppies? This is actually the best part. Your local animal shelter is literally giving dogs away. These dogs are scheduled to be euthanized so this is a case where you would be unkilling two dogs with one stone.
You may be asking yourself, don’t people want cute little puppies and not some mangey dog from an animal shelter? The answer is yes, people do want cute little puppies and not some mangey dog from an animal shelter. That is why cute little puppies cost so much and this is why you will list cute little puppy pics on your Dark Web puppy mill website.
Now your asking yourself, won’t people get upset when they are expecting a cute little puppy and instead receive a mangey dog. Yes, they will. But by this point, you don’t care. You’ve saved a dog’s life and you don’t have a return policy!
As you can see, selling “puppies” on the Dark Web can be very rewarding. Some example puppy mill website names would be, CheapPup.darkweb, or PuppyLove.darkweb.
Hopefully one or more of these ways to make money on the Dark Web will work for you. If you have any problem implementing any of these techniques send us a nude pic of yourself along with your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mothers maiden name and we will assist you in any way we can.
DISCLAIMER: We can not be held responsible for your activities on the Dark Web. If you follow any of the advice in this article there is a good chance you will be arrested. You may be arrested just for reading this article. As a matter of fact, destroy your computer now and move to another city.
4 thoughts on “How to make money on the Dark Web.”
You need to get a job as a comedy writer.
I tried selling the nude pics but it didn’t really work out for me. Most people just laughed, there was one person that sent me a gift card for Jenny Craig.
There is a market for gift cards. Do not ignore this untapped potential!
really haaa but is good